


Don't break stuff on purpose. But do.

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3447845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: "the new handyman’s hot so I’m gonna keep breaking stuff"</p><p>Well Kieren had found the repair guy attractive, so Simon figured he might as well give him a reason to come back, and it's not as if Kieren was the only one who enjoyed the company...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't break stuff on purpose. But do.

**Author's Note:**

> Simon's POV is really not my forte.
> 
> This was supposed to be 'a few hundred words'. I can't stop. It's not also exactly... idk... it is what it is, whatever that may be.
> 
> Un-beta'd. But you all know that by now. Also un-proofed. Oh well.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

The first time Rick came to fix their dishwasher, it was genuinely an emergency. Despite having lived in the flat for months, Simon and Kieren had never really used a dishwasher growing up, so hadn’t through twice about the machine sitting in their kitchen. That Friday, they'd decided to try using it, though, and the thing had broken down on them, water spilling everywhere and leaving them frustrated that they now had to contend with cleaning up and getting it fixed, rather than relaxing after dinner as they'd planned. It turned out not to be that awful, though. The guy who came was incredibly attractive, and Simon had been more than content to sit at the kitchen table and watch Rick work, listening as Kieren chatted with him about anything and everything. The guy was good-natured, too, responding amiably and laughing easily at the conversation. Definitely a people-person, Simon had thought with a smile.

After he’d left, neither he nor Kieren made a secret of the fact they thought he was attractive. Kieren had jokingly talked about what it would be like to have their own handyman to fix things around the flat, who would work topless and no doubt get all sweaty and dirty, forcing him and Simon to have to extend him the offer of using their shower. Simon had indulged and encouraged the line of thought, because he was definitely thinking along the same lines.

-

The second time Rick came to repair the dishwasher, it was a Tuesday. Simon had been in the living room reading when he’d heard Kieren’s shout of annoyance as the thing broke down again, and, going to see what had happened, he’d decided to let Kieren call Rick. After all, there was an innocent frustration to Kieren’s voice that Simon wouldn’t have been able to manage, not when he had deliberately sabotaged the thing.

If Rick had suspected anything, he didn’t say, he just started fixed it, chatting companionably with Kieren while Simon watched, somewhat guiltily, as he worked. Then again, the guy was getting paid, so Simon reminded himself that he wasn’t going to hell for this. And Kieren was obviously enjoying the company.

The landline had rung, and Kieren had gone to answer it, no doubt expecting it to be his parents. As he left the room, Rick had struck up conversation with Simon, surprising him by asking how long he and Kieren had been together. People didn’t always immediately assume they were together, as if the idea of it made them uncomfortable so they didn’t look too closely. As he answered Rick, Simon wondered at the way Rick gave him a genuine smile, noticing the guy had dimples. _You’re both so lucky_ , Rick said, turning back to his task after a moment. Personable, astute _and_ kind: Simon was left somewhat surprised, and found himself liking Rick even more. The guy wasn’t uncomfortable around them, even though he knew they were a couple. Simon would have thought Rick was straight, but that last comment seemed to be a little more than kindness – it was a compliment to them both, even though Kieren hadn’t been here to hear it. Simon was used to people saying he was lucky to have Kieren, but for someone to say that Kieren was lucky to have Simon… he didn’t think he’d ever heard that. It felt nice.

Rick let Simon talk, and Simon was surprised to find himself actually doing so, prompted by a few questions from Rick asking about his job and interests, and a few understanding comments being added in to make Simon feel less like he was delivering a soliloquy and more like he was talking to someone who was enjoying the conversation.

Done, Rick gave his work one final check and then started packing his tools away. Digging into his pocket, he approached the table where Simon still sat, handing over his business card.

“I know you have my number, but I do a few other jobs too, if you ever need,” he offered, and Simon looked down to see a neatly printed name, number, contact address, and a list of skills Rick offered. He nodded, about to say ‘thank you’ when Rick continued. “Although I’d be careful with how many more times you mess with the dishwasher. That thing’s prehistoric, it might actually break if you do it too often.”

So he knew. Simon had the good grace to be incredibly embarrassed, although Rick just gave him a grin, not seeming annoyed at all. It anything, he seemed amused. Simon was saved having to respond as Kieren finally came back into the kitchen, having obviously shaken his mum. He looked disappointed to see Rick was finished, but offered him some tea before he went all the same, which Rick politely declined. Simon just quietly went to fetch his wallet.

After Rick left, Simon slumped on the table, groaning, with a muttered _‘Oh my God’_. Confused, Kieren had sat next to him.

“You okay?” he asked clearly concerned.

“He knows,” Simon muttered into the cloth of just jumper.

“Knows?”

Simon sighed, sitting up straight and ready to take the hit. “I deliberately broke it.”

It took a moment for Kieren to follow what he was on about, but when he did, instead of the annoyance he’d expected, Simon was startled by Kieren starting to laugh. Hard. After a few bemused seconds, a smile tugged at his own lips, despite his best effort to remain solemn.

“Kier, c’mon,” he tried. “This is serious.”

Kieren just laughed even harder, collapsing against Simon.

“Oh my God,” he chortled. “You actually…” Kieren broke of, snickering and laughing again, so Simon just gave in and smiled wryly at his own idiocy.

“Was he annoyed?” Kieren eventually asked, regaining some semblance of control.

Simon shook his head, remembering the way Rick had grinned at him. “He got paid, so I guess he just thought it was funny.”

Kieren looked at Simon with his eyes wide, and a kind of excitement there that terrified Simon. He knew he’d want to say ‘no’ to whatever idea was forming.

“Can we do it again?”

“Oh God, no, Kier! No!” Simon exclaimed. Kieren’s fingers deftly took the business card from Simon’s hand, and he examined it.

“We could sabotage something else!” he suggested gleefully.

“I seriously hope you’re joking,” Simon said wearily.

“Let’s see…” Kieren was muttering, more to himself, as he looked at the business card. Simon tugged it back, placing it so Kieren couldn’t see the list.

“At least give it a week?” he begged. “Please?”

Kieren seemed to consider for a moment, teetering on the edge of manic conspiracy and sensibility. Sensibility won, and he leant awkwardly against Simon again, deflating slightly.

“Okay, but we’re talking in detail about just how amazing it would be if he were fixing our shower in just jeans and a thin t-shirt and the water suddenly turned back on and doused him in cold water.”

“Douse you in cold water,” Simon muttered fondly. Kieren just tilted his chin to look up knowingly at Simon. There was no way they weren’t both thinking the same thing.

-

The third time Rick came to fix the dishwasher, it wasn’t sabotage. The door had broken. It wouldn’t shut properly, and when they managed to get it in place they had to hold it there unless they wanted either water to leak out or for the thing to fall open again, stopping the cleaning cycle. It had been broken for over a week, making it a month since Rick had last been, and although they were perfectly capable of doing the dishes by hand, a dishwasher had been nice. And so had Rick.

Simon had rung, immediately insisting he hadn’t done it on purpose, and Rick had laughed, before agreeing a time to come round. He’d taken one look at it, and frowned, saying it could be fixed, but the age of the machine meant it was probably better just to buy a new machine with a guarantee than keep patching it up.

With nothing to work on, Rick had carefully closed the door as he spoke. “Honestly thought you guys were too embarrassed to call me again.”

“Were you disappointed?” Kieren asked easily, not even missing a step. Simon was caught by Rick’s forwardness, and by that of his boyfriend.

“Yeah, kinda was,” Rick agreed, grinning as he turned away from the defunct machine. “It’s always flattering when people break stuff just to call you round to fix it.”

“Wait, people actually do that?” Simon asked, although he knew he shouldn’t be surprised.

Rick was shrugging as he gathered his things. “Yeah, happens now and then; got one old woman who gets me to service her coffee machine – which she never uses – once a fortnight just for the company. Don’t really mind that. Others, though, it’s always fun guessing how many times they’ll call me out before they try something.”

Beside him, Kieren made a choking noise, and started laughing under his breath.

“I don’t think I even want to know,” Simon muttered. Rick just laughed warmly.

“So many stories,” he grinned.

“You ever take them up on the offer?”

Kieren was paying Rick the call-out fee, which Rick trustingly pocketed without counting as he shook his head. “Never had the right offer.”

Simon wondered what kind of thing Rick would consider ‘the right offer’ and Kieren had clearly thought the same thing, as he was already asking the question as Rick made to leave.

“So what would you accept?”

Rick didn’t answer, he just grinned knowingly as he glanced between Kieren and Simon, letting his eyes flicker over them openly. Simon almost couldn’t believe it, and the fact this guy was standing in their flat quite clearly checking out both himself and his boyfriend wasn’t really sinking in. It felt kinda good, though, definitely a compliment.

“Anyway, see you guys round,” Rick said lightly, no doubt aware of the effect he had just had on them. As he left the flat, Simon and Kieren just stayed exactly where they were.

“Oh my God,” Kieren managed.

Simon just shook his head, still unable to form words.

-

The fourth time they phoned Rick, it wasn’t exactly to ask him to come fix something. When the phone was answered, Simon spoke frankly.

“Our dishwasher’s still broken, so you can come fix it if you want,” he started as soon as Rick answered, forgetting to even say who he was. “But Kieren and I were actually wondering if you’d like to come for a drink with us some time.”

After a moment, he heard Rick's warm, gentle laugh from down the phone, as if he was pleasantly surprised, and some of the anxiety Simon felt dissipated. It didn't sound malicious. When Rick gathered himself and finally replied, Simon could hear smile in Rick’s voice.

“I’d love to.”


End file.
